Embrace the Chaos

This is a reprint from an article I wrote for a local newspaper on December 20, 2003. I was cleaning out my files, and decided to print it out and hang it on the refrigerator. I used to be so wise.

Seasonal stress?  I was going to write an article on how to avoid the burnout and over-stimulation that happens to kids and their parents during the holidays.  I thought I could say that it would be a good idea to limit visits, long trips in the car and sweets.  But then I realized that we don’t follow any of that advice in our family!

Since it’s not realistic to promise myself that I won’t go temporarily insane this (or any) holiday season, I’ve decided that I am going to change my mindset and embrace the chaos instead of fighting it.  This year I am not going to get stressed out about not getting stressed out.

I could tell myself that this year my toddler is not going to have sweets because it makes her run around in circles and bounce from couch to chair and then back again like a ping pong ball.  But that’s not really realistic.  I’ve spent too much precious time and energy policing grandparents, aunts and uncles who will inevitably decide that the baby needs “just a little taste.”  So I will pretend to not notice when I get a kiss that smells suspiciously like chocolate and try to sneak a piece of bread or piece of cheese in to sop up the sugar.

I could decide that coercing a squiggling toddler into her carseat for one last stop isn’t worth the anguish, but I wouldn’t dare.   We are lucky that our family all lives within driving distance and it would be deemed rude to not at least pop in on each for a few minutes.  To make the car rides easier I’ll make sure the CD player is primed with Sesame Street and The Wiggles soundtracks.  We’ll munch on fruit and pretzels while we try to find the best-decorated house.

I could make up silly rules that say that we can’t open the toy right this very second because we don’t want to lose the pieces, but I won’t.  I will instead go find a ziplock bag to help contain the tiny parts.

I could remind my husband that he asked me to not let him eat too much, but I won’t.  I don’t think he is ever serious about that, anyway.

I could get frustrated that the pie doesn’t look the way that it does in the recipe and the sugar cookies got slightly burnt, but I won’t.  Whipped cream and frosting heals all cooking wounds.

I could feel burdened when I realize that everything that needs to be bought, brought or wrapped will be my responsibility.  But I don’t because I’m the only one in the house who really cares about those things anyway and I have numerous charts and checklists to make sure all details are remembered.

Along with our holiday offerings, I plan on toting an emergency survival bag with us from stop to stop.  In it I will stock changes of clothing for our immediate family (yes, even a new shirt for daddy!), coloring books and crayons, a video or two that can be watched in a back bedroom if the need arises, books and some favorite sugarless snacks.

We will also be sure to include jammies and our special snuggle doll so we don’t have to wake our partied-out elf when we get home.  I’ll worry about the sugar-covered teeth the next day.

I promise.

5 Simple Things Moms Can Do to Stay Healthy Now

Please welcome Maryann Tomovich Jacobsen, MS, RD, who has written this wonderful guest post for us with fantastic advice on how moms can keep healthy and happy while tending to little ones. –steph

Maryann Tomovich Jacobsen is a registered dietitian, mother of two and creator of www.RaiseHealthyEaters.com, a blog dedicated to providing parents with the most credible nutrition advice.

Motherhood is a vulnerable time for the health and well being of women.  As a practicing dietitian, clients always tell me that each child they’ve had brought a few (stubborn) extra pounds.  Over the course of several years this gradual weight gain adds up.

I now understand how easily this can happen.  The old me had plenty of time to workout, get all the sleep I needed and stay focused on, well, me.  But I’ve learned that I can still make my health a priority even without big chunks of time.  I just have to accept that the way I go about my healthy habits will be new and improved.

So here are simple ways moms can take care of themselves despite having the most intense, all-consuming and rewarding job in the world. 

1.  Focus on the how much of eating: When moms think they have to eat ultra healthy to lose weight, the time barrier always gets in the way.  But the real secret to weight management is learning how to eat just the right amount of food your body needs.  And you do this by getting back in touch with your hunger and fullness signals.

In order to do this right, you need to eat regular meals so you don’t get overly hungry.  Eat slowly, enjoy every bite and pay attention to when you start to feel full.  This is your body’s way of telling you it’s time to stop.

2.  Start small with exercise: I had my second child 8 months ago and when my son

was about 2 months old I went for spontaneous 10-15 minute runs right outside my house.  I also incorporated a 15-minute post-partum DVD on certain days.  My runs gradually increased in duration to 25-40 minutes and the DVD time to 20-25.

By taking it slow, I’ve watched my exercise routine evolve into something that works for my new life.  This gradual process also helps me know just the right time to step it up a notch.

3. Try new foods along with your kids: On my blog,

Raise Healthy Eaters,  I write about feeding strategies that help parents raise healthy and happy eaters.  But my advice always focuses on the whole family.

That’s because studies show that the best way to get children to eat a variety of foods is repeated exposure and role modeling.  That means children are more likely to eat certain foods (like vegetables) if they see their parent eating them too.

I recently made zucchini cakes for me and my picky 3-year old daughter’s snack time.  Even though she turned her nose to them, I got the benefit or eating more vegetables (and they were yummy).

4. Go to bed earlier: Research shows that sleep deprivation is associated with

excess weight.  Apparently a lack of shut eye makes people hungrier due to appetite hormones getting out of whack.

A recent study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology found that postpartum women getting less than 5 hours sleep lost less weight than those  getting more than 5 hours of sleep.

So no matter how tempting it is to stay up late and get things done, make sure you get enough rest.  If anyone needs the rejuvenation time, it’s moms.

5. Seek foods that keep you full: Research shows that protein-rich foods (lean

meats, poultry, eggs, fish and beans) are the most satiating.  Fiber-rich foods like whole grains, fruits and veggies also do a good job at keeping you full.  Add a little bit of healthy fats to a meal and you’ll be even more satisfied.

So include protein-rich foods at most meals with a variety of whole grains, fruits and veggies and healthy fats (olive/canola oil, nuts/seeds, avocado).  Moms need the right fuel to do the hardest job on earth.

All of these steps are easy enough to start doing now.  And who knows?  By this time next year, you could be a lean, mean, mommy machine.  And what kid wouldn’t love that?

So This is December

I failed at National Novel Writing Month.

I’m okay with it.

I’m also okay with the word “failed.” I think many times people shy away from the word because it sounds harsh, and it’s much easier to make excuses than to own up to shortcomings. I had/have every excuse in the book: I’m tired, I’ve got too much work to do, the kids need me, I’ve got Thanksgiving to plan, Christmas to plan, the baby’s room needs painting and decorating, the garage needs a playroom makeover, I’ve got to Christmas shop now, I’m having contractions, it hurts my tail bone to sit, I’m helping at the school today, the kids are only this age once, I haven’t been a good friend to so and so and should really have her over for coffee, etc. and etc. again.

But it all boils down to conscious choice, and I consciously made the choice each and every time I decided to not sit down and write.

and I’m okay with it.

The fantastic news is that we’re now completely ready for this baby, and that feels wonderful. I’ve got about 4 weeks to go, and the room is painted and done, the garage is set up as a play space with the toy kitchen and a separate art area, and the Christmas lights are up. The shopping is practically done, including gift wrap and stocking stuff, and I never left the house to do it. I LOVE THE INTERNET.

I’ve also caught up on way too many hours of The Baby Story, and am weighing the cord blood thing. I didn’t do it with the other girls, and since this will probably be the last baby, maybe I should just go for it. But it’s expensive.

I’m excited about the upcoming New Year. I’m looking forward to exercising again, and getting my brain cells back (boy I hope they come back…). I’m also looking forward to wine and coffee (that’s okay to say out loud, right?) I’ve got a few writing projects lined up, and I’ve got to figure out what to do with this site, since I totally suck at keeping it updated.

I’ve got a guest post lined up in the next few days from a reader who is also nutritionist, so if you have any questions about nutrition, get them ready.

have an absolutely wonderful day.