guest post: Why Working From Home Isn’t Just a Pipe Dream

Winning the Game of Life. (wait, is this all just a game?)

This is the exact game box that’s collecting dust on the closet shelves in the family room at my parents’ house.

I haven’t played with it in over twenty years.

because it takes too long.

… insert metaphorical psycho babble…

When things are going well, does that mean that you are #winning (thank you Charlie Sheen!) the Game of Life?

Does that mean that others are losing?

if you are sick, or hurt, or hungry, or worried, or disorganized, or scared, or poor, does that mean you are #losing?

Does that mean that your situation was just the luck of the draw, or that you must simply play the hand you’re dealt?

that can’t be the case. it just can’t be.

No one has all the answers on how to play this game. No one can anticipate all the wildcards and roadblocks Life brings. The only thing that seems to work, is to pull out the directions, smooth out the creases and recommit to staying on course.

 

 

 

 

Going on a Vision Quest

We recently got back from a roadtrip to Oregon, where we spent (not enough) time at Crater Lake National Park.

If Crater Lake isn’t on your “we really ought to go there” list, I urge you to write it in. I’m a sucker for National Parks. I like being out in nature, but I like the we’re absolutely and perfectly safe feel the National Parks provide with their paved roads, clearly marked signs, trimmed vegetation, readily available flush toilets, and stocked soap dispensers.

I was startled by the  blueness of this lake— it was as if someone had dumped in a vat of crayola paint— the blue didn’t look natural, and yet it was. After watching the video in the visitor’s center, I learned that for many many years Americans didn’t believe this lake existed— they thought it was a myth. I also learned that Native Americans would have annual pilgrimages to the lake for Vision Quests. They believed that they would discover the answer to all of life’s questions by looking deep into the blue water.

I did not have a epiphany while staring into the water. Instead, I was busy keeping the baby from climbing the safety walls and the big kids from trying to touch the ground squirrels (oh my. they were just too cute).

but I felt different. I was acutely aware that I was in a naturally made location that had been this way for hundreds and hundreds of years. I loved that I was able to see the lake with fresh eyes the way the Native Americans or the original pioneers must have (which is difficult in this day and age, since we have Google Earth!).

I loved being in the moment, pausing, and realizing that my two older kids will remember this trip. They’ll remember driving the 30-mile perimeter, and rolling their eyes every time Daddy pulled over to take “just one more picture.” They’ll remember how their mean old mom banned the Nintendo DS for the day. They’ll remember sitting in the squeaky chairs while watching the long and boring movie, and I’ll remember marveling at how well-behaved they were during the long and boring movie.

They’ll definitely remember the ice cream bar. Ice cream is always remembered.

Everyone’s Vision Quest, or life’s purpose is different, and I’d venture to guess it changes pretty often– depending on your age, your choices, and probably the seasons. The revelation comes when you have this startling deep down feeling that you are doing exactly what it is you are *supposed* to be doing.

and again, this is different for every person. It could be being the best darn teacher, or bank teller, or caregiver, or amusement park ride operator ever. It could be any  number of things—- IT is relative.  But when you’ve found the IT, you’ll know it.

and it will take your breath away.

When All Else Fails, Put One Foot in Front of the Other

Adam ran a full marathon yesterday. Today he is taking a lot of Advil.

I had over four hours to sit and think by the finish line while I waited for him to reappear— and when he did, I finally exhaled a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

I think a lot of us are holding our breath.

release it.

you are doing a great job.

already.

 

 

Remember being young, and not being able to wait for the next thing to happen? Christmas. Your birthday. The new school year. You counted down the months, the weeks, the days until the Next. Big. Thing.

Most of us still do this.

I can’t wait until I’m married. I can’t wait until we have a house. I can’t wait until we have a baby. or two kids. or three.

I can’t wait until we re-do the kitchen. Until we go to Europe. Until we have a bigger house.

Until we retire.

Until we win the lottery.

STOP.

Don’t wait to start living your life the way you want to—- just begin. The race has already started. You can fight it, or you can get caught up in the music, the frenzy, the cheering, and put one foot in front of the other and begin running.

but I don’t like my shoes.

and I don’t have one of those GPS watch-thingies.

If you are reading this, you have access to the internet. And probably own many more things than you need. Most likely you have a warm bed and and a full belly each night.

You are already winning.

and you are so very blessed and so very lucky.

appreciate it.

breathe deeply—- and appreciate it.

 

When you cross the finish line, what do you want it to look like? Do you want your chest puffed up, full of pride, while you smile for the cameras? Do you want to wave your arms around, all silly, and quack like a duck? Do you want to cross and then immediately fall in a heap and proclaim: “never, never, never again”?

Will you limp across? Will you crawl across? Will you feel triumphant, or will you feel defeated?

Every Day is a New Gift.

No, really: Every Day Is A New Gift.

do you feel that way today? will you feel that way tomorrow? what do you need to do to get to that point?

PS: it’s not going to be a new kitchen…

 

Time Management for Moms

I’m kind of fascinated by time management. I’ve lost count of the number of books I’ve read or listened to on tape/cd about this subject— probably well over a hundred. Whenever I have a moment or two in the library and I’m not stuck in the toddler corral, I wander into the business books and gather anything from the 658 or 332 shelves that I haven’t already read.

Most business books focus around time management and productivity. Productivity=money in business.

If you take a random poll while walking the streets, I’d venture to bet that most people wish they had more of 2 things: time and money.

I can’t really help with the money, but I can help free up some more time in your day.

Change Your Mindset.

This is probably the biggest obstacle to overcome–myself, included. If you have already decided that you don’t have enough time in the day to get it all done, you’ve defeated yourself before you’ve even begun. Don’t set yourself up for failure.

Remember when we talked about changing your vocabulary? This is the same thing. Decide that each day is a blank slate and schedule out what you want to accomplish.

Learn How to Say No.

Don’t agree to anything that doesn’t directly benefit your family. I know. It sounds callous, but if you don’t want to go to the class bowling party, don’t. RSVP no. Don’t lie– just say it’s not going to work out for you and leave it at that. If you don’t want to help organize the Church rummage sale, or arrive early to set up the chairs for the PTA meeting, don’t do it. It’s not healthy to say yes then run yourself ragged living up to a commitment you didn’t want to make in the first place.

Take back your time. Once you feel as if you’re in control of your time instead of outside influences being in charge, you can begin volunteering again.

Get Up Early.

When I suggest getting up early people sometimes freak out. In all the case studies I’ve read of successful people or people who “make it happen” they each have the same characteristic: they get up early. Usually at 5.

I know. I’m sorry.

I’ve done all the acronyms: SAH, WOH, WFH (stay at home, work out of the home, work from home) and I can absolutely-without-a-doubt credit getting up early as the key to a successful day. When I’m up in a quiet house, I feel peaceful. I love watching the sun rise while I sip my coffee, doing yoga without an audience, or going for an early morning walk or run. When I’m on a deadline, I use that hour or two to work.

In 2008 when I did the crockpot year, I got up at 4am most days. I was working from home doing 2 part time jobs, doing the crockpot stuff, and writing the first manuscript for the Totally Together Book. It was nuts, but I knew I needed to keep going. Once or twice a week I also did what I call the “split shift”: I went to bed at 8pm, then got up from midnight to 4am to work. I then slept till 7am when the kids woke me up.

The first week is the hardest, but it gets easier. I’d highly recommend putting the alarm clock on the other side of the room so you need to get all the way out of bed to turn it off. Once you’re out of bed it’s harder to climb back in (which every single day you’ll want to).

You Don’t Work 9 to 5, You Work 5 to 9

5am to 9pm Day Plan pdf

When my oldest was about 6 months, I listened to a time management book on tape which is what gave me the idea to make a day planner for moms. I emailed the Franklin Covey company and we corresponded a few times before they blew me off (they did send a 15% off coupon, though!) and I decided to create my own.

One of the lightbulb-moments I had while I was playing around with the project was the realization that I was trying to cram everything I needed/thought I needed to do between the hours of 9am to 5pm. I wanted EVERYTHING done for the day before dinner. I was under the misguided impression that the laundry, etc. should be completely finished before I watched TV or relaxed a bit. Once I started folding laundry during my tv goof-off hour (or whatever) I felt better; more whole.

This doesn’t mean that YOU, personally, need to do everything around the house—I’m a big fan of delegation and whole-heartedly believe that all of the chores should be divvied out among the children and the sexes.

Cut Yourself Some (lots of) Slack.

There are times in your life that will always be crazier than others. When you’re pregnant, nursing, not sleeping, sick,  the kids are sick, on a huge work deadline stuff just isn’t going to run as smoothly as it does when everyone is on their A-Game.  Know this and accept it. Life is not a contest, nor is it a picture-perfect spread in a design magazine.

You’re doing an awesome job. You really are.

The Daily 7 for a Highly Successful Household

PROM (purge, remove, organize, maintain)

Clean Less, Play More

How to Company Clean in 30 Minutes or Less

Time Management and Social Media: an oxymorom?

Conversations with Coke Recap

This is a compensated post. Coca-Cola paid for my travel, lodging, and activities in Atlanta, and BlogHer is paying me to write this post.

I am back, safe and sound from Atlanta from the Coca-Cola event. I feel fresh and renewed, and it doesn’t really have anything to do with the insane amount of Coke Zero I had on this trip.

For the record? I really like Coke Zero. I was too cheap to buy and test it out myself, but since Coke flows freely and readily within the mothership, I had the opportunity to taste test approximately every 3.5 seconds. I am not a Diet Coke fan, but like Coke Zero.
A lot.

I got an awful lot of rather um, interesting comments and questions about this trip. I was ready for these questions, but the tone and the (perceived) anger from some of them kind of threw me for a loop.

To the point that I kind of wanted to hide in a corner and suck my thumb and twirl my hair.

And that’s not okay.

I will never ever ever try to get you (or you, or you) to buy something you do not want to. I would never try to make you feel bad for your choices or for what you choose to feed or serve your family.

Please don’t do that to me.

I’m not an all-or-nothing kind of girl. I like all-natural, organic food, but I also like Cheese in a Can. I try my hardest to get us to all sit down to eat dinner together at the table, but sometimes the best thing is to spread out a blanket and watch TV while shoveling it in.

And I’m okay with it.

I’m supposed to write what I learned these past few days at Coca-Cola’s headquarters. I should probably write that the nutritionist and scientist told us that your body metabolizes high fructose corn syrup, aspartame, and cane sugar the exact same way. I should refer you to their website: TheBeverageInstitute.org to read the studies and form your own decisions.

I should tell you that McDonald’s sponsored our lunch (McDonald’s is the largest distributor of Coke products) and that the Asian Salad is quite tasty, the dressing is Newman’s Own (NOT GLUTEN FREE) and only has 90 calories (the dressing, not sure what the whole salad has, but that  info is readily available online) and that the new smoothies taste fantastic and my kids really like them for an afterschool snack.

One of the biggest and hugest highlights of the trip was listening to representatives of Coke’s Women in Leadership program. They spoke about the importance of listening to women and understanding their background. That women everywhere struggle with balance and feelings of guilt and worries of not “being perfect.”

The powerful quote of the day was their leadership motto: Lift as You Climb.

I learned that women need to be nicer to each other.

A LOT nicer.

And we need to learn how to support and nurture each other and stop making snap judgments.

Because at the end of the day, everyone is just doing the very best they can within their own circumstances and situation. And you should love and cherish that person—even if their choices are somewhat different than your own.

And these women? I couldn’t have been happier with this amazing, powerful, confident grouping. I feel honored beyond words to have met and spent time with them.

Women truly CAN change the world. I know it. But first, we’ve got to stop pushing each other down and start holding hands and supporting.

Lift As You Climb.

I am thrilled to introduce (starting at the top right and working down the stairs):
the guy is Phil, he was our Coke tour guide and archivist. super nice guy.

Creating Motherhood, Calliope

Doobleh-Vay, Amy Turn Sharp

Sweetnicks, Cate O’Malley

VodkaMom,

BusyMom

MochaMomma

Joy Unexpected, Yvonne

The Meanest Mom, Jana

Home 2 3 Duncan Boys, Lakeitha Duncan

Three Kid Circus, Jenny Lauck

Bongga Mom

Kirida, Mona

Take the time to meet these women and read their stories. We can learn so much from each other.

I’m in the midst of a new site redesign (nothing will change, but it will all be different. don’t freak out.) and would like to start an everyone-is-included blog/website roll. If you have a site that you’d like included and you’re a REAL person and not some spam monster, please email me at contact@stephanieodea.com (I’m the contact!) with the subject line: blogroll and I’ll get you on the list. This roll will constantly be updated—it’s time we reach out and support one another.

Thank you for your love and support, and have a wonderful day.

I’m a Closet Homeschooler

When I was pregnant with my first (10 years ago), I informed my husband, Adam, that I “reserved the right to homeschool.” He was (skeptically) agreeable, so I took it upon myself to learn as much as I could about homeschooling in case the day ever came when I felt that I could do a better job teaching the kids than our local school.

We now have three little girls: 9 1/2, 6 1/2 and age sixteen months. We’ve moved a few times since I “staked my claim” to homeschool ten years ago, and now live in a very good school district.

so my kids go to public school (the baby is home, of course).

The children are happy, and are thriving. They continue to excel in class and are all naturally inquisitive and have a thirst for learning. I’m happy with a lot that the school provides, but continue to supplement at home as much as I can. I try to be “around” the school a lot, which allows me  opportunity to see firsthand behavior issues, and the time wasted moving from activities or lessons. I do not think this is necessarily a bad thing–it’s just something I’m very aware of. Adam says I’m keeping score. Maybe I am!

I’m greatly looking forward to having the kids home with me when school lets out (8 days!). No matter how involved I am in the school, during the school year, Adam and I are not in charge. The teacher is. I wish I could say this doesn’t bother me, but I’d be lying. The school calendar dominates our day to day life, and I’m looking forward to getting a more natural flow to our days.

I have gotten a few emails in the past week or so asking what activities I do with my children during the summer. My oldest is going to attend a 2-week enrichment program (3 hours a day), [updated, 6/1: just got an email that the program has been canceled due to lack of funds/enrollment. NOT HAPPY. ] and my 6 year old will attend a gymnastics class twice a week. I’ll probably throw in a week of swim lessons, and we’re hoping to get a sponsor for a late-summer book tour to Albuquerque, and will visit the Grand Canyon.

Otherwise, our days will be pretty loose— park trips, library visits, and playdates. The television will be turned off for the day by 10am, and the kids will have free range of the art supplies, books, games, and the back yard.

will they fight?

A.B.S.O.L.U.T.E.L.Y.

will I lose my temper (more than I should)?

Y.O.U. B.E.T.C.H.A.

will they complain that they’re bored?

W.I.T.H.O.U.T. A. D.O.U.B.T.

I can not wait.

Resources shown above, and what I use in our (closet) homeschooling curriculum:

Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons — I taught my big kids to read with this book. It’s actually not shown in the above picture because I lent it to our neighbor to use with her 3-year-old. I do not use the writing exercises at all. At the end of the 100 lessons, your child will be reading on a 2nd grade level. I started just for fun at around age 3 1/2 with my girls. I followed the lessons in order, but didn’t have a set time frame. If the kids wanted to sit with me and practice, we did. We would go months without even opening the book, but sometimes we’d do 4 lessons in a day. They each finished the book in it’s entirety before entering first grade.

BOB Books. — I’ve put these books away until the baby is ready. Warning: they tear easily! These are fun, whimsical books that teach reading both through phonics and memorization. I actually think it’s mostly from memorization, but many disagree. Empowers young children that they can read an “entire book.”

Brain Quest decks — we have at least a dozen of these decks. I love giving them as gifts, and love receiving them! I toss a deck into the diaper bag to pull out at restaurants when we anticipate a long wait, I use them in waiting rooms, in the car when waiting for music lessons to dismiss, etc. I keep a basket on the shelf on the end table and the kids pull them out when they’ve got some time to kill.

Brain Quest Workbooks — we were given a few of these, and the kids use them, but there’s definitely a workbook feel. I keep them “out” and sometimes they’ll do a page or two on their own, but mostly they are used for playing school with playdates.

Summer Bridge — I bought a set of these a few summers ago mostly to pacify myself that the kids were on the right track and their brains weren’t turning to mush. I’ve since relaxed a bit on worksheets, but if you are a person who likes order and want the confidence of knowing the kids are *actually* learning or your kids like completing worksheets this is a good summer project.

Never Bored books — Mazes, word searches, brain teasers, coloring pages, etc. My kids like these better than traditional workbooks. I would recommend buying up an age group for a bit of a challenge. Some of the activities require scissors and glue.

The Story of the World series, by Susan Wise Bauer — This series of books is written by the same author of The Well-Trained Mind. We only have the first book and are only a third of the way through. It starts with Ancient Times: Earliest Nomads to the Last Roman Emperor. The book is written in story form, and is written from a secular perspective.

The Daring Book for Girls and The Dangerous Book for Boys — We have both of these books. Practical guide to pretty much anything: letter writing, fire building, camping, tying a variety of knots, how to be a good friend, proper restaurant manners. These aren’t books to be read cover to cover, but used as a reference guide. I like to give these as gifts.

The Little House on the Prairie books — I have girls, so I’m not sure how well this series would fare in a house full of boys. I read this series outloud to my big girls, starting when my oldest was 6 (I skipped over some of the Laura and Alfonso stuff). Reading this series outloud was hands-down the best history lesson my kids have ever had (thus far. they are still quite young!). We refer to “Laura and Mary” quite often in our house, and apply the knowledge of this time period to other history lessons to provide perspective. I plan on rereading the series in a year or so to refresh all of our memories.

I Can Draw books and Pocket Doodle books — My first grader loves to draw and doodle, and will happily work for hours creating and recreating animal or people pictures. These are the easiest-to-understand for little kids drawing guides I’ve found.

Soduku Unifex game — If you’ve never played soduku, or are intimidated by it, this is a FANTASTIC way to learn the game– for little kids and for grown ups! This is a one-player game, and once the fundamentals are learned, soduku is a solitary game enjoyed throughout your whole life. Math, reasoning, strategy, and spacial awareness are all key aspects of this game. The box says ages 7 and up. My kids enjoyed playing (with help) at age five.

We play a lot of board games! I’ll be back next week with a board game round-up. Happy Memorial Day!

Take All the Time You Need

Good Morning! I spent the first few hours of the day outside today while the baby (almost sixteen months already!) frolicked in the grass completely naked. Frolicked sounds like such a frivolous word—but that’s truly what she did. She was thrilled to run without a diaper, and skampered about with pure delight.

It was wonderful.

even though her mom made an executive decision to not put sunscreen on her shoulders and figured 15 minutes of under-seventy degree weather was fine and now she has her very first sunburn.

oops.

How are things with you? Are you remembering to slow down and soak things in? Are you remembering that life is a journey to be enjoyed and not a race to the finish line?

I forgot this a few weeks ago. I let myself feel other people’s stress. I allowed myself to get sucked into DRAMA that had nothing to do with me. I allowed myself to absorb the tension in others instead of letting it wash over me and then down the drain.

My wise friend Shirley told me last week that life truly is like a roller coaster—you can fight this fact, or you (universal you, although I let her speak directly to me ) can go with the flow and enjoy the ride.

This morning I enjoyed the ride, and I challenge you to do the same. There will always, always, always be something that you “should” be doing. But usually the shoulds just don’t matter.

they really don’t.

I have received the proofs yesterday for the Totally Together journal. This has been an over-eight-years-in-the-making project, and it’s finally going to print. I was told “no” dozens of times. It took me two years to find a literary agent and then another two years to secure publication, just for it to disappear due to the economic downturn.

Each time I was told “no,” I was upset. It bothered me that agents or publishers couldn’t see my vision. It annoyed me that I allowed myself to become upset. I figured if I was a stronger person, I could take disappointment with grace and not let it weigh me down. I felt guilty for wanting this book to come alive since I had succeeded with the crockpot site/books. I felt guilty for wanting more. I felt like I wasn’t supporting the “brand” of a slow-cooking expert, whatever that means.

I still feel that way at times.

The fact that it’s finally coming out makes my heart swell with pride in such a different way than I felt with the crockpot books. This was something I worked at—and while the crockpot thing was work, it was a different kind of work. I think this was the book/tool I was supposed to produce.

I’ve got a lot of ideas that I want to implement in the next little while to help tie this site to the crockpot site. It’s going to take time, effort, and work. But this time, I’m not going to fight it—-instead, I’m going to trust that the twisty obstacle course is meant to happen. Shirley is right.

I’m going to enjoy the ride.

I found this today under the play structure–the kids drew it where it can’t be washed away by either rain or the sprinklers. I loved finding it out of the blue.

Even if you’re having an otherwise-icky day, find a rainbow. It’s there, somewhere.

I hope your day is filled with lots and lots and lots of love.

Happy Wednesday!

Spread some joy today.

The sun is finally here to stay in my neck of the woods (I don’t sound like an 80-year-old man when I use that phrase, do I?)

no need to answer…

and all of a sudden the world is fine again. Sometimes I forget how desperately I need the sun and it’s marvelous Vitamin D, but I guess I do.

I’ve been soaking it in the past few days, and all of my worries seem to have quieted. I’m so glad. It’s been a hard first quarter for pretty much everyone I know.

let’s clink glasses (cranberry juice; maybe I have a UTI? is that TMI?) to a MUCH better second quarter.

I did go to BlogHer BET (business, entreprenuers, technology) conference last Friday and enjoyed myself. I almost chickened out at the last minute when I got an email suggesting I have a pitch deck and bring it along.

But you all calmed me down (THANK YOU) and I attended empty-handed and open-minded. It was the right thing to do. If anything, it made me realize that I should “get out there more” and meet new people with new ideas. It also made  me realize that I don’t have to have a bunch of letters listed after my name to hobnob with the bigwigs (now THAT made me sound like an 80-year-old-man, I’m sure of it).

One of my favorite sessions was the Branding session (led by Gina Garrubbo, who I could listen to talk about the mating practices of slugs and be interested) and got me thinking about how what you put on the internet stays on the internet, and that will “brand” you forever. Since we’re raising kids in this digital age, it’s something we need to be very aware of for them.

There have been some interesting PR bumbles this past week that I find fascinating. I know I’ve mentioned before that part of running a business is keeping track of what is said about you, and to respond appropriately. The best way to do this is to have a bunch of google alerts in place (your name, your site’s name, your site’s URL, etc).

this is why you should monitor:

Let’s say your an author and you don’t like an online review (including an Amazon review, btw) DO NOT go in and try to defend your work or your name. Ever. Nope, not even then. let it go. Why? Here’s why. I feel terrible for this poor lady. I really don’t think she knew how the internet works and how to play the game. I felt as if I was reading a transcript for Punk’d.

You are a celebrity cake judge on National TV. You have been cast as the villain. Do not allow your people/friends defend you when Kristy Sammis (hysterically, I may add) satires you. It makes you look like you can’t keep your people inline.

Or maybe you are a bonafide celebrity chef and you don’t realize that your “people” denied a critically ill child’s request to meet you. Twice. And so they took it to the Internet. This is why you should have a google alert out! so then you know!

What about the stupid, ridiculous remark you made on Facebook poking fun at those with Celiac Disease or those with other VERY serious medical conditions who require a gluten free diet? What if you happen to be a chef at a restaurant and admit on this Facebook page that you PURPOSELY gave customers regular wheat pasta “because they wouldn’t know any better?”

So there you go. All of those names (specifically not written out because HELLO, GOOGLE ALERTS!) will forever live on in Internet archives, and not in a good way.

Grace Duffy, whom I met at BlogHer BET, just wrote on She Posts an interesting article summarizing just this: the Internet Doesn’t Forget.

have a great day! remember: spread some joy today. and vacuum under the couch cushions. it’s been a while…

here’s a bit of joy, right off the internet. Talking twin babies.

How To Be Balanced While Looking for Balance

I was asked last week if I had a personal motto. I hesitated for a second, then blurted out:

THIS IS REAL LIFE, NOT A MAGAZINE.

I didn’t know that had been floating around my inner thoughts, but once I said it, I felt an enormous release of positive energy.

This is it. This is for real. I do not expect my children to be robots, so why should I expect to be “on” all the time? Why should I expect my cupcakes to look like the way they do on TV, or my garage shelves to be color coordinated? Why should I beat myself up if I happily feed my kids apple dippers from McDonalds every Wednesday because that’s our early-out day and it makes them happy, and if they’re happy then I’m happy?

I shouldn’t. and neither should you.

Sandy wrote this in the comment section of the post I did the other day:

As much as I’d love to, I cannot do everything I want to do in a day. Trust me, I’ve tried. I cannot work out (P90X week 11, baby!!!), pray, read my bible, wipe down all my bathrooms, do 2 loads of laundry, cook a healthy dinner from scratch, write a witty blog post, drive my kids all the places they need to be, have s*x with my husband, blow dry my hair and play doll house with my 4 year old all on the same day. So I’m learning to prioritize the things that matter the most to me and let the other things go. FYI, it’s usually the s*x that I let go.

I love her honesty, and I know for a FACT that she is the norm. We all are. It’s hard work (really hard work) not not constantly feel as if you aren’t measuring up. I absolutely agree with Sandy that it’s impossible to be the perfect trophy wife and mother and it’s a futile effort to even try. I’m proud of her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’ve got a kid home sick with me today. She’s been vomiting every 90 minutes, and is snoring away at the foot of the bed (where I’m sitting, typing). I hate it that my first thought when she got sick last night was that it was going to “ruin” my day.

I am so ashamed.

My day was not ruined.

The world will keep spinning even though I didn’t post the General Tso’s chicken recipe along with all of the other Chinese food recipes I’ve made. I thought I better squeeze that post in before February was over, because that’s when Chinese New Year is celebrated.

February is over. I missed it.

I so don’t care.

The worst part of “working” on the internet is feeling as if you are continuously treading water. I hate that feeling. I know I could be doing things better. I know I could be tweeting more, or that I should figure out facebook. I know that I should attend more conferences, ask to be placed on panels, and further my brand (man, I really hate that term).

I know these things.

but I’ve decided to Just. Not. Care. I read post after post and article after article about outsourcing this or that or using VAs (virtual assistants) to leverage time efficiently.

Guess what I refuse to outsource? The kids.

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You know your family the best. You know if you’re “phoning it in”—– please, take stock.

nothing else matters. it really doesn’t.

I’ve done all three acronyms: SAH, WOH, and now WAH. I was actually more on my game when I worked outside the home because I was able to walk away from work completely and be fully engaged. I loved being a stay at home mom, loved every second of it, but did have a nagging feeling in the back of my head that I should be “doing” something to contribute to the family finances, and felt like I didn’t want to lose my identity.

There isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer to finding balance. The only solution is to keep questioning whether or not you’re on the right path. If you aren’t, you’ll  know it. Change course.

Don’t wait.

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Nigel Marsh did this video (10 min) and it’s worth playing in the background, if you have the chance (there’s a bit of questionable language, so be aware if you’ve got littles on your lap). I found it on the BloggingLabs site (where I go to read, ironically enough, how to be a better blogger).

Enjoy yourself. Enjoy your kids.

Have a great day.

 

Want even more? Buy the book! Totally Together: Shortcuts to an Organized Life is available now. This handy-dandy weekly planner will hold your hand throughout the year and will give you all the reminders and helpful prods you need to have the Very Best Year, ever. No need to wait for the New Year to start your organization mission, you can start at any time. Enjoy!

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