Conversations with Coke Recap

This is a compensated post. Coca-Cola paid for my travel, lodging, and activities in Atlanta, and BlogHer is paying me to write this post.

I am back, safe and sound from Atlanta from the Coca-Cola event. I feel fresh and renewed, and it doesn’t really have anything to do with the insane amount of Coke Zero I had on this trip.

For the record? I really like Coke Zero. I was too cheap to buy and test it out myself, but since Coke flows freely and readily within the mothership, I had the opportunity to taste test approximately every 3.5 seconds. I am not a Diet Coke fan, but like Coke Zero.
A lot.

I got an awful lot of rather um, interesting comments and questions about this trip. I was ready for these questions, but the tone and the (perceived) anger from some of them kind of threw me for a loop.

To the point that I kind of wanted to hide in a corner and suck my thumb and twirl my hair.

And that’s not okay.

I will never ever ever try to get you (or you, or you) to buy something you do not want to. I would never try to make you feel bad for your choices or for what you choose to feed or serve your family.

Please don’t do that to me.

I’m not an all-or-nothing kind of girl. I like all-natural, organic food, but I also like Cheese in a Can. I try my hardest to get us to all sit down to eat dinner together at the table, but sometimes the best thing is to spread out a blanket and watch TV while shoveling it in.

And I’m okay with it.

I’m supposed to write what I learned these past few days at Coca-Cola’s headquarters. I should probably write that the nutritionist and scientist told us that your body metabolizes high fructose corn syrup, aspartame, and cane sugar the exact same way. I should refer you to their website: TheBeverageInstitute.org to read the studies and form your own decisions.

I should tell you that McDonald’s sponsored our lunch (McDonald’s is the largest distributor of Coke products) and that the Asian Salad is quite tasty, the dressing is Newman’s Own (NOT GLUTEN FREE) and only has 90 calories (the dressing, not sure what the whole salad has, but that  info is readily available online) and that the new smoothies taste fantastic and my kids really like them for an afterschool snack.

One of the biggest and hugest highlights of the trip was listening to representatives of Coke’s Women in Leadership program. They spoke about the importance of listening to women and understanding their background. That women everywhere struggle with balance and feelings of guilt and worries of not “being perfect.”

The powerful quote of the day was their leadership motto: Lift as You Climb.

I learned that women need to be nicer to each other.

A LOT nicer.

And we need to learn how to support and nurture each other and stop making snap judgments.

Because at the end of the day, everyone is just doing the very best they can within their own circumstances and situation. And you should love and cherish that person—even if their choices are somewhat different than your own.

And these women? I couldn’t have been happier with this amazing, powerful, confident grouping. I feel honored beyond words to have met and spent time with them.

Women truly CAN change the world. I know it. But first, we’ve got to stop pushing each other down and start holding hands and supporting.

Lift As You Climb.

I am thrilled to introduce (starting at the top right and working down the stairs):
the guy is Phil, he was our Coke tour guide and archivist. super nice guy.

Creating Motherhood, Calliope

Doobleh-Vay, Amy Turn Sharp

Sweetnicks, Cate O’Malley

VodkaMom,

BusyMom

MochaMomma

Joy Unexpected, Yvonne

The Meanest Mom, Jana

Home 2 3 Duncan Boys, Lakeitha Duncan

Three Kid Circus, Jenny Lauck

Bongga Mom

Kirida, Mona

Take the time to meet these women and read their stories. We can learn so much from each other.

I’m in the midst of a new site redesign (nothing will change, but it will all be different. don’t freak out.) and would like to start an everyone-is-included blog/website roll. If you have a site that you’d like included and you’re a REAL person and not some spam monster, please email me at contact@stephanieodea.com (I’m the contact!) with the subject line: blogroll and I’ll get you on the list. This roll will constantly be updated—it’s time we reach out and support one another.

Thank you for your love and support, and have a wonderful day.

Happy Wednesday!

Spread some joy today.

The sun is finally here to stay in my neck of the woods (I don’t sound like an 80-year-old man when I use that phrase, do I?)

no need to answer…

and all of a sudden the world is fine again. Sometimes I forget how desperately I need the sun and it’s marvelous Vitamin D, but I guess I do.

I’ve been soaking it in the past few days, and all of my worries seem to have quieted. I’m so glad. It’s been a hard first quarter for pretty much everyone I know.

let’s clink glasses (cranberry juice; maybe I have a UTI? is that TMI?) to a MUCH better second quarter.

I did go to BlogHer BET (business, entreprenuers, technology) conference last Friday and enjoyed myself. I almost chickened out at the last minute when I got an email suggesting I have a pitch deck and bring it along.

But you all calmed me down (THANK YOU) and I attended empty-handed and open-minded. It was the right thing to do. If anything, it made me realize that I should “get out there more” and meet new people with new ideas. It also made  me realize that I don’t have to have a bunch of letters listed after my name to hobnob with the bigwigs (now THAT made me sound like an 80-year-old-man, I’m sure of it).

One of my favorite sessions was the Branding session (led by Gina Garrubbo, who I could listen to talk about the mating practices of slugs and be interested) and got me thinking about how what you put on the internet stays on the internet, and that will “brand” you forever. Since we’re raising kids in this digital age, it’s something we need to be very aware of for them.

There have been some interesting PR bumbles this past week that I find fascinating. I know I’ve mentioned before that part of running a business is keeping track of what is said about you, and to respond appropriately. The best way to do this is to have a bunch of google alerts in place (your name, your site’s name, your site’s URL, etc).

this is why you should monitor:

Let’s say your an author and you don’t like an online review (including an Amazon review, btw) DO NOT go in and try to defend your work or your name. Ever. Nope, not even then. let it go. Why? Here’s why. I feel terrible for this poor lady. I really don’t think she knew how the internet works and how to play the game. I felt as if I was reading a transcript for Punk’d.

You are a celebrity cake judge on National TV. You have been cast as the villain. Do not allow your people/friends defend you when Kristy Sammis (hysterically, I may add) satires you. It makes you look like you can’t keep your people inline.

Or maybe you are a bonafide celebrity chef and you don’t realize that your “people” denied a critically ill child’s request to meet you. Twice. And so they took it to the Internet. This is why you should have a google alert out! so then you know!

What about the stupid, ridiculous remark you made on Facebook poking fun at those with Celiac Disease or those with other VERY serious medical conditions who require a gluten free diet? What if you happen to be a chef at a restaurant and admit on this Facebook page that you PURPOSELY gave customers regular wheat pasta “because they wouldn’t know any better?”

So there you go. All of those names (specifically not written out because HELLO, GOOGLE ALERTS!) will forever live on in Internet archives, and not in a good way.

Grace Duffy, whom I met at BlogHer BET, just wrote on She Posts an interesting article summarizing just this: the Internet Doesn’t Forget.

have a great day! remember: spread some joy today. and vacuum under the couch cushions. it’s been a while…

here’s a bit of joy, right off the internet. Talking twin babies.

super quick update

I’m here! It’s mind-boggling to me that I haven’t written on this site since February 28.

I’m sorry.

Things are going really well around here. The baby is 14 months, growing molars, learning words, and trying to climb ON EVERYTHING. Her big sisters never were big climbers, so this is throwing me for a loop.

kids are wonderful.

I’ve been quite reflective lately. The earthquake and tsunami in Japan has really caused me to retreat into a contemplative state, and I’m finding that I am very aware of the fragility of life, which allows me to find a heightened sense of pleasure in doing the most minute things.

like folding laundry.

I know.

it’s weird.

I feel unsettled at the moment. I have a sense of urgency that we are (our family; totally self-centered, here, sorry. :-0 ) not where we are meant to be.  I go from wanting to pull the kids from school and go live on a farm somewhere off the grid to being completely overwhelmed with emotion at how wonderful it is that the kids are able to see their grandparents (and great-grandparents!) pretty much daily.

I had the opportunity to go to Boulder, Colorado a week or so ago, and met with the most amazing group of women–most of whom I’ve never met–yet I was so AWARE that I was “with my people.”

such a strange (and phenomenally wonderful) feeling.

I’m going to a conference on Friday for women entrepreneurs that BlogHer is hosting–(in Silicon Valley, I don’t have to get on a plane, thankfully). I’m supposed to bring/prepare a business plan and list of questions to pose to a mentor. I’ve lost sleep over this assignment! I don’t know where I’m headed, and I don’t know if I need to know.

I’m having fun.

and for that, I am truly thankful.

in other news: I’ve mentioned before that my grandma comes over daily to  baby-wrangle, and watch Good Morning America over coffee. Here’s Grandma Bunny in action. She is wonderful, and again, I am truly thankful.

Is Self-Esteem Tied Into SiteMeter?

Part 4 of the Business of Blogging Series.

I get emails here and there asking how to attract blog readers, or how to get more web traffic. I really don’t know. I wish I had the magic answer, but I just don’t, so I’m not going to pretend that I do.

When I started the Slow Cooker blog, I needed to learn how to blog. I had just started working for BlogHerads.com, and in order to do my job properly I needed to figure out how to blog. I chose to use a blogspot (Blogger) blog because it was free. I’m all about the free. I knew that I was going to install BlogHerads on the site, and I knew that I wanted to be able to cover the expenses of the groceries I was going to buy.

I asked Jenny what to do, and she said to follow Elise’s advice on her How to Build Blog Traffic. So I did. I followed pretty much everything Elise said to do.

And it worked.

What Jenny didn’t explain, and what Elise didn’t mention, is that it doesn’t matter if your blog isn’t highly trafficked. It’s okay. And you could go a little nutty tracking your stats each day (or each hour, or each fifteen minutes). It might not be good for you to know who is on your site and how they got there and how long they’re on and where they go next.

Trying to write for other people is very difficult. Writing for yourself is fun.

Because I am not interested in going (too) nutty, I have only downloaded the free version of Site Meter, and have stayed away from services that offer too much detail about my readers, or which track where users go after they leave my site. Although I understand that my every click is being monitored by someone, somewhere, I didn’t (and still don’t) feel comfortable with  the idea that I’m being watched, and don’t want to feel Big Brotherish on my own site(s).

Most people don’t agree with me. Most feel like the more info the better, and then they tailor their writing to fit into site demographics. I come from the school of thought that If You Write It, They Will Come.

and, the more you write, the better you will get. And then more people will come. Don’t start out trying to be the best of the best. Start out because you are interested in writing, and are interested in providing valuable content–whether it’s information or entertainment.

It’s okay to tell people about your writing though—-use tools that are at your disposal to bring new readers to your site. If you are on Twitter and Facebook, link to your newest post. Attend blogging conventions, and meet other people with similar values and perspectives.

The internet is huge, but at the same time it can feel really small and tiny.

Make connections, answer questions, and remember that if you’re having fun, others will join in to have fun right along with you.

other posts you might be interested in:

The Business of Blogging series: part 1, part 2, and part 3

Time Management and Social Media: An Oxymoron?

Teeny Tiny Thoughts, Volume III

Volume I and Volume II are here.

• back from BlogHer ’09, safe and sound
• I had a ball, and was beyond grateful and ecstatic that Adam came along
• I still don’t like to fly, and on the way home had to sit in the middle seat with strangers. I liked saving $$ with Southwest, but don’t like that aspect.
• At All.
• I am still quite happy with my decision to not Twitter.
• We went to the CheeseBurgHer party. And we both wore bags on our head
• we left before security broke it up
• I didn’t puke at all the whole time I was there.
• I came home and puked. I don’t really know why. I feel fine now.
• weird.
• there was puke in the elevators at BlogHer. Somehow I don’t think it was from morning sickness.
• I just finished reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver
• I loved it
• now I want to live on a sustainable farm
• since moving isn’t in the cards, we’re going for a walk to the produce stand today
• I’m thinking some sort of zucchini minestrone soup, ceaser salad, and garlic bread for dinner.
• I ordered a Breadman last night from Amazon (crap, now it’s $6 cheaper), after reading the raving reviews from Karina
• the kids did great at my parents—-they also seem to have grown 8 inches.
• I can’t wait to put homemade pizza back into our weekly menu.
• anyone have a fantastic gluten free pizza dough recipe? I’d love to make the dough in the new bread machine, then roll it out.
• I had deep dish pizza in Chicago! It was quite dough-y (it wasn’t GF, I’m not personally GF)
• my friend Laura (warning, Laura swears in her writing) had a HORRIBLE cross-contamination reaction at a VERY WELL-KNOWN restaurant chain that advertises gluten free food while in Chicago, and was admitted to the hospital. After calling, she learned that the chef didn’t use clean pans when making items off their gluten free menu. We’ve decided it’s not necessary to name the name of the restaurant chain (she is going to write a letter), but please tuck it away to specifically request clean pans when ordering, even at an establishment that caters to gluten free customers.
• ugh. I hate it that she had to go through this.
• we’re off to the farmer’s market, and to play in the garden

Have an absolutely wonderful day! I’m happy to be home.

Getting Started: A Beginner’s Guide to a Clean and Organized Home

Thank you so much for all of your sweet words about the State of My House. I’m relieved to report that it’s back to normal, or at least normal for us, and that the puking has stopped.

I’m so beyond thrilled to no longer be puking.

We also got to see the baby last week via ultrasound. He/she is swimming around and looks fantastic. I think it’s finally sinking in that another being is on it’s way.

For reals.

I was tickled at how many of you confessed that your homes resembled the way mine looked after about 6 weeks of not cleaning.

There were, um, an awful lot of you.

And that’s okay—-I’m not a judgmental person in the slightest. This is your home, and you’re the boss. But, if you’d prefer to not have your house look/feel/run that way, I’m here to help.

Get Started. Now.

The first thing you need to do is to do a quick clean. Get the crap off of the floor, and the surfaces cleared off. DO NOT TAKE a lot of time to do this—just start moving. My How to Company Clean in 30 Minutes or Less post will be helpful, but mostly you just need a panicked “I’ve got to get this place picked up” feeling in your stomach. Pretend your mother in law is on the way over, or schedule a coffee date with the snotty PTA mom for tomorrow. You need a fire under you to Get. It. Done. This isn’t perfection time, this is Action Time.

Overcoming Obstacles.

The biggest obstacle to overcome in any task is procrastination. In order to start getting your house in order—you need to start getting your house in order. Procrastination is tricky when it comes to orderliness, because sometimes procrastination masquerades itself as cleaning. Do not alphabetize the spice cabinet if you have a mountainous pile of dishes precariously balanced in the sink. Do not worry about cleaning out the garage if you can’t navigate through the family room.

When my second child was a baby, I had friends over for coffee. I realized there was laundry strewn all over the place, but I was so tired I truly didn’t care. One of my friends wanted to free a chair so she could sit down, and began folding the towels that were scattered all over. While she folded, I began feeling more and more uncomfortable.  I didn’t join in to help, or tackle another chore in the house. Instead I stood and watched until I finally blurted out that she was folding my towels wrong. I wanted my towels folded in thirds so they “looked pretty” in the linen closet.

To this day, I’m embarrassed by what I said/did. When your house is on fire, you don’t stop to weed the flowerbed. You act, and act quickly. It makes no sense to have a pretty linen closet if you can’t get to it because the floor is littered with clutter and the house feels cramped and chaotic. I promise there will be plenty of time to organize the towels and sheets. But not until the living spaces of your house are comfortable and orderly.

Another obstacle to overcome is over-cleaning. Do not waste precious time cleaning something that is already clean. Many of the things moms spend the most time scrubbing are actually pretty clean already. Toilets, showers, sinks, dishwashers and tubs are essentially self-cleaning. They need a bit of help to keep them gleaming, but they really don’t need to be scoured weekly or even monthly if they are cared for properly and dirt and grime isn’t allowed to settle in and get comfortable. Once your house is picked up, you can go back and thoroughly clean whatever needs it.

And Then…

Once your house has been quickly picked up, you can go do That Which Bugs You The Most. This is psychological cleaning. If you have a weird bathroom phobia, you might need your toilets to be pristine and have blue water in order for them to feel clean to you. Or you might need to sterilize your kitchen countertops with a bleach solution. Everybody has a different hot button, and for some reason it just needs to be taken care of in order for the house to “feel clean.”

For me, it’s the kitchen floor. I hate our kitchen floor. Hate is a super strong word, but it’s true. I absolutely hate it. We have a small kitchen, so thankfully the icky floor isn’t very many square feet. We have a black-and-white checkered linoleum, and it is a bear to keep clean looking. Any fleck of dust or crumb on the black squares show, and foot prints, and dirty spots appear on the white squares within seconds of a good mopping. In order for it to feel clean to me, I need to scrub each and every square with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, then go back and quickly mop with cleanser. It takes about an hour, and I only do it when I feel completely icked out.

And Then…

Stop. Take a break. Stop working. Instead, call a family meeting and start brainstorming about chores, The Daily 7, and PROM. Your family, your spouse, and your stuffed cats need to help. The house doesn’t get destroyed by just one person, and it doesn’t need to be cleaned by just one person. I will post about chores for kids in detail, but please know that at about age 18 months, children can with assistance clear their own dishes, help load and unload the dishwasher, and tidy up their own toys. If you have dumpers in the house (not a poop reference. Dumpers are children who empty out containers of toys and then don’t pick them up.), get rid of some toys. Put them up high, or put them into storage in the garage or attic. Children shouldn’t have free reign of All the Toys In the World until they respect them and clean up after themselves.

My friend Alison, is a homeschooling mom to 9. She once shared with me advice that I find myself repeating to myself a few times a day when I’m feeling “mean”: “you are not raising children. You are raising capable adults. Every child should leave the  home knowing how to make a meal, sew on a button, do laundry, mow the lawn, and milk a goat.”

Once your family is in agreement that a clean(er) house means a happier mom, you will find hidden time where you can tackle the projects that have been bugging you.

More to come—-I’m off to BlogHer, and want to change the beds and vacuum before we leave. I love coming home to vacuum lines on the carpet.

The Business of Blogging

I actually wanted to title this post series “The Bidness of Blogging” since I’m not an expert by any stretch of the imagination on either business or blogging, and I find the word “bidness” absolutely hysterical, but that wouldn’t be a good title.

I hope this series of posts (I’m not sure yet how many there will be. I’ve got a lot of stuff floating around my head!) will explain why.

Part 1: My Story

I started the slow cooking blog last year as a 2 part challenge. I wanted to see if I could:

1. make money off a free blog

2. use my slow cooker every day for a year

The second part: using a slow cooker every day for a year was a gimick. A schtick. I needed to have something to write about on the free blog I was interested in starting. The free blog I was interested in turning profitable. It certainly helped that I have a deep and abiding love for the slow cooker, and that I am not a good cook without it.

Ever since I thought about having children of my own, I wanted to stay home with them. I wasn’t opposed to working, though, which meant that I turned a bit obsessive about work-from-home ads and websites and resources. I wanted a quick and easy and painless way to work from home in my pajamas, with my kids.

I had begun working for BlogHerads at home on a contract basis in the fall of 2007. I read blogs for them, make sure the ads are in compliance, and pick post headlines from blogs to feature under the graphic ads. The only problem? I wasn’t a blogger. [updated: I no longer work for BlogHerads. I quit to write the first cookbook].

In order to understand my job properly, I needed to start a blog.

I understood a bit about how google worked, and learned through research that the more focused the writing, the quicker google searches would find me. Although I greatly enjoy reading personal and parenting-focused blogs, I was (and continue to be) wary about sharing too much personal information with the internet. I liked food blogs—I liked the tight focus and the limited personal sharing. Once I figured out that there wasn’t a blog (that I knew of) about slow cooking, the light bulb went off.

Oprah would call it an “a-ha” moment.

And so I wrote out a business plan. Yes. A business plan. Because I’m a complete dork.

I can see how a business plan wouldn’t make sense to a lot of bloggers, but it made perfect sense for me. I had goals I wanted to achieve, a time-line for doing so, and an exit strategy.

The one year exit was very important to me, and to my family. It would not be a sane thing to do (for me) without an exit strategy.

I wrote that I would stick to the following:

–I wouldn’t buy a domain name. I wanted to prove that a free blogspot blog (something looked down upon by many seasoned bloggers–in fact at last year’s BlogHer conference I had a few marketing people tell me that I would never be considered credible with a blogspot blog) could turn a profit

–I wouldn’t spend money on the blog, other than groceries. I would use the free site counter, etc. This changed (adapted!) after the 2008 BlogHer conference, when I learned that I really needed a new camera lens and a light source in order to take pictures of food properly. I’ll write more on that later.

–I would post every single day, no matter what

–I would be honest about my failures/flops

–I would misspell the word “Crock-Pot” to snag google searches

–I would use the word “recipe” and “crockpot” in every single post title

–I would step away from the computer after a year, and not try to promote the site, but let it stay up for google searches (this is a bit of a problem, because in order to keep the ads on the site, I need to post once a week—I’m still trying to figure this part out)

I also jotted down some goals about daily web traffic, income, and a book deal. The Secret in action!

Some people jump feet first into blogging with the idea of making a ton of money. While there are definitely people who are making a ton, most (MOST!)  see a very modest and not regular income. The internet ebs and flows–my daily traffic is about 10 thousand people a day in the “off” season, and triples during the fall/winter months. While I do have quite a few RSS subscribers (65k) people mostly  come through google searches, facebook shares, and now through Pinterest.

coming up next: Figuring Out Your Internet Voice

Summer Plans

Every year right around this time, I get an itch and become super eager for summer time. I want to be out more than in, I want to play more than work, and I want my kids home. I get impatient with rules and I-should-reallys and daydream about gardening and swimming and reading and playing and daydreaming. yup. I daydream about daydreaming. I love daydreaming. and  napping.

We don’t  have any elaborate plans for the summer, and are staying close to home. I haven’t signed the kids up for any classes or camps, and other than BlogHer, we don’t have any travel plans.

it’s going to be lovely. I think. I hope. I’m going to have to check back in August when I’m tired and hot and cranky.

The kids and I planted a bunch of new flowers surrounding the front walkway last week, and around the front yard tree. I love the circle of flowers around the tree, it reminds me of a pixie circle, and if I allow myself I can see little fluttery beings living under the colorful petals and leaves, collecting dew drops to make secret potions and magical elixirs.

Yesterday afternoon we tackled the backyard, and purged the existing flower bed to make room for a teeny vegetable garden. I had already chicken-wired the bottom of the bed last summer thanks to a VERY. COURAGEOUS. gopher who taunted me pretty much daily before I wised up and put in the wire. He’s moved on to the lawn now. He may accidentally be killed with a pick ax. Soon.

Our backyard now boasts seven 4-inch plants: 3 types of tomatoes, a watermelon, a green bell pepper (totally wanted a red one, but the garden supply store was  out and the kids insisted they’d eat the bounty, and I bought it even though I know they were completely lying because it was on sale and I had another foot to fill), an eggplant, and the cutest little corn plant I ever did see. We also planted some pea and corn seeds. Kernels? Pods? whatever the dried peas and corn are called.

I hit the school supply store with my youngest yesterday and through an act of extreme restraint I didn’t buy everything in sight, and instead decided on workbooks from the Never Bored books—a series I hadn’t seen before. I got one for 7-8 year olds, and one for 4-5 year olds. I usually do the Summer Bridge books, but the kids get terribly bored after about 3 days, and I get annoyed and then I get annoyed at myself for getting annoyed. It’s a vicious cycle. This Never Bored seems to be what I was looking for—the activities don’t seem “schoolish” but involve problem solving and creative thought. My 4-year-old has done 6 activities in the past two days, though, so it doesn’t look like it will last the whole summer. I also got each kid a blank writing journal with appropriately-spaced lines.

My four-year-old BABY! dragged out the reading book, and we did 5 of the lessons last night in under 10 minutes. I guess it’s time to do it for reals.

And we hit the library. I had asked Karen a few weeks ago for some grown-up book suggestions, and she started a thread on BlogHer with some ideas. I printed out the list, and headed to the library. I wasn’t able to find all the books listed, but checked out a few that excited me. I have wanted to read The Poisonwood Bible for quite some time, but didn’t carve out the time to so. I’m about 100 pages in, and so far I’m liking it, although I find the jumping from character to character a bit annoying. I really like Kingsolver, though, and am pretty sure if I find a peaceful corner of the couch I’ll get sucked in and not want to walk away. Adam and I took a literature class together in college (back when we picked out classes together. calculus cured me of this romanticism.) and we were assigned The Bean Trees. boy I loved that book.

We checked out Old Town in the Green Groves which is totally tripping me out. It’s a “lost” Little House on the Prairie book, written by an author who pieced it together from reading unpublished journal entries Laura Ingalls Wilder let behind, chronicling two years that take place between On the Banks of Plum Creek and By the Shores of Sliver Lake.  I’ve read the kids the books up through Little Town on the Prairie, and we were excited to go back and read about Laura when she was 8-10 years old. In the second chapter, Caroline (Ma) gives birth to a baby boy, Charles Frederick (Freddie). Nine chapters later, he dies, at age one. I had NO idea there was another baby in the family. Laura never mentioned him in the other books, and now I want to learn more. This book doesn’t say how he died,  just that he did, and where he was buried.

The Television (insert creepy dum dum dum music). In past years, I’ve canceled the cable (we acutally have satellite,  but whatever) for the summer and we don’t watch any tv other than DVDs. We’ve already cut back on our cable (DISH) package due to the economy (I hate that phrase) so we’re already not watching much as it is. I don’t know what’s holding me back from going cold-turkey this year, but I think it might have something to do with The View and Oprah, which is probably not something I should share out loud. But I feel like they’ve been better this year! And I get to sit and drink coffee and veg while I fold laundry! ugh. I’m still decidering.

That said, I do like TV series on DVD and could actually use a new one, if anyone has any ideas. In the past few years, Adam and I have cranked through the following (and loved them):

The Wire, Veronica Mars, The West Wing, Commander in Chief, Arrested Development,  Weeds, Entourage, and Curb Your Enthusiasm.

We just finished the last Weeds Netflix has to offer last night. There is nothing in the queue. It’s kind of depressing.

So those are our summer plans, or lack thereof. What about you? Big plans? Staying close to home? Any DVD recommendations?

Turtle and Skittles are enjoying the overgrown grass and fresh air, too.

Time Management and Social Media: An Oxymoron?

I wrote a bit about time management and moms in the book, and how I battle my biggest time waster: The Internet.

I’ve found that if I’m not careful I can whittle away hours of precious time following link after link or by playing with the Instant Messenger feature. Since I do the bulk of my professional work on the computer, it’s very easy to succumb to “playing” while I work, and before I know it hours have passed and I really haven’t accomplished anything.

I hate to admit how often this happens.

it’s kind of a lot.

There is no perfect work/life/family balance that fits all. There just isn’t, and anyone who tries to sell you otherwise is a liar and probably has really bad karma. You’ve got to figure out a system that works for you. Some people allow themselves a break every hour or two from work (and yes, running a house and caring for children is work) to check and answer personal email. Some people refuse to go to certain internet sites until all of the day’s work is done. I sort of do a mixture of the two. I usually get up pretty early in the morning (4 or 5 am, it’s nutty, I know) to get my work-work done so then I can do other stuff (which I usually masquerade as work when the kids or Adam ask what I’m doing) that I want to do. It’s not a perfect system, but so far it’s working out okay. Especially when I take a nap at 2pm.

I do not have an IPhone. Or a Blackberry. I also am not on Twitter or Facebook or LinkedIn. This is a personal choice that I have decided that for right now(*) just isn’t a good fit for me or our family.

(* my version of a disclaimer in case I ever change my mind and venture over to the dark side…and let’s be honest, it’s probably inevitable…)

edited 10/09: I have started a twitter account, @stephanieodea on the advice of my publicist. I’m a very sporadic user, and still don’t really understand it—doesn’t it seem kind of ego centric? So there you go. I’ve succumbed to the dark side… (insert evil Darth Vaderish laugh).

I would love an iPhone—I think they’re neat, and I think I’d have an awful lot of fun with one. But I know myself, and I know that I’d be checking it constantly, and not be fully attentive when I should be. I also get annoyed when I’m speaking to someone and they interrupt the conversation to answer an email, or they respond to a question by saying “oh, let me google that,” and then they go ahead and give me a computer-generated instead of a person-generated response.

I was at a playdate yesterday, and the dad works at Apple. I asked if employees played on their iPhones during meetings. He said, “No. That would be rude.” Yes. Yes it would be. Yet I’m sure we all could rattle off instances where we’ve seen phones being used in such a way.

As for Twitter? I used to just not get it. Now I think I do, but I’m just not that into sharing my every little thought with the world. I’m not that interesting. And lots of my thoughts lately have to do with the annoyance I have with the little white dog from around the corner who keeps peeing on our front lawn. And some of my thoughts about that aren’t legal, so I should probably keep them inside. And since I don’t have an IPhone or a Blackberry I have to text in the old way where you scroll through the letters and I have very little patience. I’d rather just place the call.

Facebook. So many of my in-real-life friends keep telling me to join Facebook so I can “keep in touch.” But I’m on the PHONE with them when they tell me this! We’re obviously IN TOUCH. So I don’t get it. And I think if I signed up I’d get sucked in. And while highschool had some good qualities (I met Adam!), I’m not ready quite yet to revive friendships. I’ve heard the virtual scrabble is really cool, though.

One of the biggest concerns about the being plugged in thing for me is the message that I/we/you/the universe are sending to children. I am from the school of thought that it’s okay to be bored. It’s okay to be alone with your thoughts. It’s okay to have quiet and not have bells and whistles sounding off all the time (hey, did I ever tell you that I applied to work for Leap Frog when they were a start-up and during the pre-interview I filled out a form saying that I believed (I was 23 at the time, so I knew EVERYTHING) toys should be open-ended and not require batteries and so they never called me back. And in a twist of irony the kids’ favorite toys are the singing ABC magnetic letters?).

It’s hard to be alone with your thoughts if you’re constantly being entertained. Some of my best ideas come from long runs (no iPod) or when I unplug for a few days. I find the kids are better behaved when the TV is off and I put away the DSes (is that the plural for DS?).

You Can Run But You Can’t Hide

The conundrum for me is that I do work for a social media company: BlogHerads. And I love it. If I didn’t do work for them, I wouldn’t have started the CrockPot blog, I wouldn’t be working on a CrockPot book, and I wouldn’t be in touch with thousands of wonderful women (and a few men. Hi Mexican Rick!) from all over the world. And I like you guys. I like getting emails saying that I am of some help in meal planning and that I helped break the chicken nuggets and pizza cycle, or that I inspired someone to streamline their bed linen and now the bed is made and that little boost was the boost needed to clean out the closet. It makes me feel good. I like helping people, and I like hearing back from them.

I’m very interested in the Mommy Blogging Panel that’s going to happen at BlogHer ’09: “Balance” is a Big, Fat, Lying, McLiar LIE for Moms who Blog (and the rest of us too) (I’m sure it will be live-blogged and live-twittered, for those who can’t make it, and the fact that I just typed that makes me laugh, yet there you go). I’m glad that the title of this panel is tongue-in-cheek. It’s got to be, right? The idea of never being able to achieve balance is such a depressing thought—-  Women need to help women. It is very helpful to be honest and say that there are days that spiral out of control and the kids climb into the pantry and dump out the cereal boxes. We’ve all been there. We know how that happens. But we also need to have a glimmer of hope that it is possible to do find a way to juggle the balls. Just a glimmer. Just a teeny tiny sparkle. something. anything. I look forward to hearing ideas about what does work, along with the fun stories about what doesn’t.

I’ve collected a few articles I’ll share below (LOVE the John Stewart video). It’s ironic that what was developed as a way to save time and make time more efficient has turned (for some) into such a sucking vaccuum. I think that the important lesson is to know where your time goes, and to be honest about the difference between work and play. I am definitely more proud of myself at the end of the day if I have a long list of accomplishments than I am when I have virtually (HA! virtually!) nothing to show for it.

Help! I’m Addicted To Facebook!

Time Management in the Age of Social Media

How to Stop Social Media Taking Over Your Day

Defining Social Media Time Management

John Stewart on Twitter

related:

• How to Company Clean–in 30 Minutes or Less
• The Daily 7 for a Highly Successful Household
• Clean Less, Play More
• It’s PROM Time!