Happy Wednesday!

Spread some joy today.

The sun is finally here to stay in my neck of the woods (I don’t sound like an 80-year-old man when I use that phrase, do I?)

no need to answer…

and all of a sudden the world is fine again. Sometimes I forget how desperately I need the sun and it’s marvelous Vitamin D, but I guess I do.

I’ve been soaking it in the past few days, and all of my worries seem to have quieted. I’m so glad. It’s been a hard first quarter for pretty much everyone I know.

let’s clink glasses (cranberry juice; maybe I have a UTI? is that TMI?) to a MUCH better second quarter.

I did go to BlogHer BET (business, entreprenuers, technology) conference last Friday and enjoyed myself. I almost chickened out at the last minute when I got an email suggesting I have a pitch deck and bring it along.

But you all calmed me down (THANK YOU) and I attended empty-handed and open-minded. It was the right thing to do. If anything, it made me realize that I should “get out there more” and meet new people with new ideas. It also made  me realize that I don’t have to have a bunch of letters listed after my name to hobnob with the bigwigs (now THAT made me sound like an 80-year-old-man, I’m sure of it).

One of my favorite sessions was the Branding session (led by Gina Garrubbo, who I could listen to talk about the mating practices of slugs and be interested) and got me thinking about how what you put on the internet stays on the internet, and that will “brand” you forever. Since we’re raising kids in this digital age, it’s something we need to be very aware of for them.

There have been some interesting PR bumbles this past week that I find fascinating. I know I’ve mentioned before that part of running a business is keeping track of what is said about you, and to respond appropriately. The best way to do this is to have a bunch of google alerts in place (your name, your site’s name, your site’s URL, etc).

this is why you should monitor:

Let’s say your an author and you don’t like an online review (including an Amazon review, btw) DO NOT go in and try to defend your work or your name. Ever. Nope, not even then. let it go. Why? Here’s why. I feel terrible for this poor lady. I really don’t think she knew how the internet works and how to play the game. I felt as if I was reading a transcript for Punk’d.

You are a celebrity cake judge on National TV. You have been cast as the villain. Do not allow your people/friends defend you when Kristy Sammis (hysterically, I may add) satires you. It makes you look like you can’t keep your people inline.

Or maybe you are a bonafide celebrity chef and you don’t realize that your “people” denied a critically ill child’s request to meet you. Twice. And so they took it to the Internet. This is why you should have a google alert out! so then you know!

What about the stupid, ridiculous remark you made on Facebook poking fun at those with Celiac Disease or those with other VERY serious medical conditions who require a gluten free diet? What if you happen to be a chef at a restaurant and admit on this Facebook page that you PURPOSELY gave customers regular wheat pasta “because they wouldn’t know any better?”

So there you go. All of those names (specifically not written out because HELLO, GOOGLE ALERTS!) will forever live on in Internet archives, and not in a good way.

Grace Duffy, whom I met at BlogHer BET, just wrote on She Posts an interesting article summarizing just this: the Internet Doesn’t Forget.

have a great day! remember: spread some joy today. and vacuum under the couch cushions. it’s been a while…

here’s a bit of joy, right off the internet. Talking twin babies.

super quick update

I’m here! It’s mind-boggling to me that I haven’t written on this site since February 28.

I’m sorry.

Things are going really well around here. The baby is 14 months, growing molars, learning words, and trying to climb ON EVERYTHING. Her big sisters never were big climbers, so this is throwing me for a loop.

kids are wonderful.

I’ve been quite reflective lately. The earthquake and tsunami in Japan has really caused me to retreat into a contemplative state, and I’m finding that I am very aware of the fragility of life, which allows me to find a heightened sense of pleasure in doing the most minute things.

like folding laundry.

I know.

it’s weird.

I feel unsettled at the moment. I have a sense of urgency that we are (our family; totally self-centered, here, sorry. :-0 ) not where we are meant to be.  I go from wanting to pull the kids from school and go live on a farm somewhere off the grid to being completely overwhelmed with emotion at how wonderful it is that the kids are able to see their grandparents (and great-grandparents!) pretty much daily.

I had the opportunity to go to Boulder, Colorado a week or so ago, and met with the most amazing group of women–most of whom I’ve never met–yet I was so AWARE that I was “with my people.”

such a strange (and phenomenally wonderful) feeling.

I’m going to a conference on Friday for women entrepreneurs that BlogHer is hosting–(in Silicon Valley, I don’t have to get on a plane, thankfully). I’m supposed to bring/prepare a business plan and list of questions to pose to a mentor. I’ve lost sleep over this assignment! I don’t know where I’m headed, and I don’t know if I need to know.

I’m having fun.

and for that, I am truly thankful.

in other news: I’ve mentioned before that my grandma comes over daily to  baby-wrangle, and watch Good Morning America over coffee. Here’s Grandma Bunny in action. She is wonderful, and again, I am truly thankful.

How To Be Balanced While Looking for Balance

I was asked last week if I had a personal motto. I hesitated for a second, then blurted out:

THIS IS REAL LIFE, NOT A MAGAZINE.

I didn’t know that had been floating around my inner thoughts, but once I said it, I felt an enormous release of positive energy.

This is it. This is for real. I do not expect my children to be robots, so why should I expect to be “on” all the time? Why should I expect my cupcakes to look like the way they do on TV, or my garage shelves to be color coordinated? Why should I beat myself up if I happily feed my kids apple dippers from McDonalds every Wednesday because that’s our early-out day and it makes them happy, and if they’re happy then I’m happy?

I shouldn’t. and neither should you.

Sandy wrote this in the comment section of the post I did the other day:

As much as I’d love to, I cannot do everything I want to do in a day. Trust me, I’ve tried. I cannot work out (P90X week 11, baby!!!), pray, read my bible, wipe down all my bathrooms, do 2 loads of laundry, cook a healthy dinner from scratch, write a witty blog post, drive my kids all the places they need to be, have s*x with my husband, blow dry my hair and play doll house with my 4 year old all on the same day. So I’m learning to prioritize the things that matter the most to me and let the other things go. FYI, it’s usually the s*x that I let go.

I love her honesty, and I know for a FACT that she is the norm. We all are. It’s hard work (really hard work) not not constantly feel as if you aren’t measuring up. I absolutely agree with Sandy that it’s impossible to be the perfect trophy wife and mother and it’s a futile effort to even try. I’m proud of her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’ve got a kid home sick with me today. She’s been vomiting every 90 minutes, and is snoring away at the foot of the bed (where I’m sitting, typing). I hate it that my first thought when she got sick last night was that it was going to “ruin” my day.

I am so ashamed.

My day was not ruined.

The world will keep spinning even though I didn’t post the General Tso’s chicken recipe along with all of the other Chinese food recipes I’ve made. I thought I better squeeze that post in before February was over, because that’s when Chinese New Year is celebrated.

February is over. I missed it.

I so don’t care.

The worst part of “working” on the internet is feeling as if you are continuously treading water. I hate that feeling. I know I could be doing things better. I know I could be tweeting more, or that I should figure out facebook. I know that I should attend more conferences, ask to be placed on panels, and further my brand (man, I really hate that term).

I know these things.

but I’ve decided to Just. Not. Care. I read post after post and article after article about outsourcing this or that or using VAs (virtual assistants) to leverage time efficiently.

Guess what I refuse to outsource? The kids.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know your family the best. You know if you’re “phoning it in”—– please, take stock.

nothing else matters. it really doesn’t.

I’ve done all three acronyms: SAH, WOH, and now WAH. I was actually more on my game when I worked outside the home because I was able to walk away from work completely and be fully engaged. I loved being a stay at home mom, loved every second of it, but did have a nagging feeling in the back of my head that I should be “doing” something to contribute to the family finances, and felt like I didn’t want to lose my identity.

There isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer to finding balance. The only solution is to keep questioning whether or not you’re on the right path. If you aren’t, you’ll  know it. Change course.

Don’t wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nigel Marsh did this video (10 min) and it’s worth playing in the background, if you have the chance (there’s a bit of questionable language, so be aware if you’ve got littles on your lap). I found it on the BloggingLabs site (where I go to read, ironically enough, how to be a better blogger).

Enjoy yourself. Enjoy your kids.

Have a great day.

350. DUDE.

350

There are only 15 days left in this year. F I F T E E N.

freaky.

I spent way too much time yesterday fiddling with a new BlackBerry that the wonderful folks at BlogHer sent to test out, review, and give away (the post won’t be for a while, though. I’ll keep you posted.)

I think I have carpal tunnel in my fingers and I’m a wee bit cross-eyed. I get it that I work online. I get it that I use technology daily, but I am JUST NOT a gadget person. After spending a good two hours to input 3 numbers, I gave up and made a pot of coffee.

I sometimes think I was born in the wrong decade. I like spending time at home, I like spending time with my kids, I enjoy hanging out with my husband, and my idea of a night on the town is dinner at a nice restaurant that isn’t crowded and then a walk around the block.

oh. and although I live spitting distance to San Francisco, I’d rather this dinner take place in the suburbs where I can find ample parking. for free.

I don’t think classrooms should have smart boards, I don’t think kids should have cell phones unless it’s for contacting mom and dad to pick them up from sports practice, and I am pretty sure we’re the last house on the block without a Wii. And while the kids have DSs (don’t know the plural of that)—they only use them in the car when we are on a long drive. I haven’t made this a rule, that’s just what seems to happen. The kids would rather play or read than videogame.

I haven’t succumbed to a DVD player in the car, either, and so far we’ve made it. This summer we’re planning a roadtrip to Texas and I still don’t feel like this is a necessity.

But.

I get it that I’m not in the majority.

so I’ll suck it up, soak my hands in warm water (ooh, maybe with lavender!), and figure out how to use this darn thing.

Today:

daily 7

count your blessings…. they are probably people and memories,  not gadgets or devices, huh?

quickly write down the top 5 things that are the most important to you right now. Don’t think too hard, just do it. On a regular ol’ day, do your actions reflect these priorities?

clorox wipe off all the doorknobs. this is especially important if you gave candycanes to quiet 5 small children yesterday afternoon while you were on a conference call…

tuesday: run errands

348

Today is the day I finally see the dentist to get those root canals taken care of. Grandpa John is going to sit with the baby, and I need to STOP being a baby and just get this over with.

I ended both of those sentences with a preposition.

I’m anal enough to notice, but not anal enough to correct the mistakes.

in case you were wondering…

I’m tripping out over the power of the Internet. Yesterday  I posted on the crockpot blog that my friend Diane’s son has recently been diagnosed with Lyme’s disease and is stockpiling information on how to best treat the condition. I’m just blown away from the response. There really ARE good people out there (just not at the post office)!

today:

run errands

daily 7

care deeply and give freely.

the weekend

345 & 346

How many of you unplug for the weekend? Do you stop checking email? Do you turn off the computer and cell phone?

I usually don’t. But I wish I did.

I feel obligated to check email, and so I do–sometimes obsessively. I need to change this. It’s not good for me, it’s not good for the family, and it’s not the person I want to be.

so I’m going to change it. It’s Friday, 4:04pm, and I’m turning off my drug.

this weekend:

keep up with the daily 7

wrap presents

spend time with the family

unplug.

12.2.2010

336

The weird thing about blogging daily is that you’re only sharing a teeny tiny slice of all the things that float around a person’s head. My head. I’d love to invite you all over for coffee so I can get to know you. I’d like to know if you, too, feel as if groups of women (in person in this case) continue to play their highschool stereotypical roles. Even when they are in their forties. I’d like to know if your neighborhood has a pitbull walking around unattended so you’re kind of a bit freaked out to let the baby play out front. I’d like to let you know that while I think they’ve COMPLETELY OVERSATURATED EVERYTHING, I’m kind of impressed with the Kardashians. And how they have somehow made a career out of being vulgar and inappropriate.

I’d like to know if you, too, feel like pulling the kids from school so you can go live on an iceberg. I’d like to know if you resent the amount of time the kids spend with virtual strangers learning things that maybe they don’t need to be learning instead of being home with the family. I wonder if you lay awake at night wondering how or if the economy will rebound. And how much college is going to cost by the time the baby is ready. And if college will be obsolete by then, anyhow, since there are so many self-taught entrepreneurs out there who seem a lot better educated than most?

Do you worry that people have forgotten how to be ACTUALLY social instead of virtually social (I’m on thin ice here, since I work online, I know…) Why is primetime television programming so awful on the “free” channels? Why does the news have to be so sensational?  Am I the only one on the planet who doesn’t understand Glee? and who thinks a ‘gleek’ is this thing you do with your tongue to get spit to spray really far?

Have you decided that it’s just not worth it to have principles like only organic food, no BPA, no Walmart, no made in China, no fast food, no swearing, and no going out with mismatched socks?

And. Does anyone watch The View anymore? Is Barbara paying for it to stay on the air out of her pocket?

today:

daily 7

stop pontificating, get off the computer, and fold the damn laundry already (oh wait. that might be just for me. ;-0 )

if you have a moment, and have the opportunity to do so, will you leave a comment on this rib recipe? it is moderated (not by me) so it might take a few hours to show up.

307! Wednesday, clobber the clutter and cobwebs

307

How are you feeling today? Do you have a day-after-the-election hangover (figuratively, of course)? I’m so happy that the UNLISTED calls have stopped. I swear the phone has been ringing nonstop over here.

I shared a wonderful email chain with Sandy of God Speaks Today and The Amazing Adventures of Fitness Friday Girl yesterday. I’ve admired Sandy’s writing from a distance for quite some time, and it was so lovely to put a “face” to the name.

I shared with Sandy* that one of the ways I keep myself honest with the Daily 7 is to not check email in the morning. I try my hardest to not look at the computer until after the kids are off to school and the baby is down for her morning nap–about 9am. This is a recent development. I felt for a very long time (and still have twinges of guilt) that in order to “do my job correctly” (i.e. blogging, writing), I needed to be available at all times.

It’s just not healthy. The kids aren’t happy when they don’t have my full attention, and I’ve found that if I give them what they need, they are usually quite ready to then give me time to attend to work/email/etc in return.

But they have to come first. I’m sure as bloggers we’ve all been guilty of trying to just squeeze in one last email, tweet, comment, etc. with a kid standing at our shoulder chanting “mom mom mom mom.”

it happens. I know. I’ve been there. And since I’m aware, I can do better.

we all can.

* This isn’t actually what Sandy wrote to me about—she’s firing her cleaning lady. But somehow in my head I tied the two together! LOL!

Today:

daily 7

laugh.

cut yourself some slack. you’re doing a GREAT job

catch up with a friend and listen more than you speak. let her lead the conversation, and when she asks about you, answer concisely but then switch it back to her. Give the gift of listening.

To listen well is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation. –Chinese Proverb

Thursday, the 301st day of the year

301

I finished The Four Hour Work Week last night. I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a self-help-type book. Oh, wait. Yes I can. The first one I read in 2001 after my first was born and I was trying to figure out how to get more time in my day. I read The 10 Natural Laws of Life and Time Management by Hyrum Smith. Actually, I listened to it on cd.

anyway, the best part of the book is the very end when he reprints the poem, The Slow Dance by David Weatherford. It’s a good poem. The words are simple and really resonated with me.

I’ve re-typed the poem, framed it, and hung it in the master bathroom.  I’m still digesting what this means for me, and what action I need to take in the next little while. But change is in the air. I can feel it!

Today:

reflection on the last 300 days. What’s working for you? What isn’t? What needs to happen in order to slow down in your life? What can you delegate? Streamline? What can you quickly accomplish today to save time later?

daily 7

No one is going to do it for you. Set a goal, do your homework, then go make it happen. —me. I came up with that on my run last night. :-0

300!!! I think. right?

300!

I was wrong yesterday. Sara pointed out that it was actually the 299th day yesterday, not the 298th, which makes a lot of sense because when I posted the 2008 flashback thing yesterday on the crockpot site it said that it was day 300 (which again makes sense because 2008 was a leap year).

confused yet?

I totally am. THANK YOU, Sara, for having my back. I really, really appreciate it.

Today:

I’m pooped. We went out for a b-day celebratory dinner last night, and we had super slow service, and the baby is of the age where she does. not. want. to. be. contained. in a highchair at all. Nor does she want to have an inside restaurant voice.

so we got a late bedtime routine, and I was behind in answering email, and so I’m just pooped.

POOPED.

~~insert giggle and a: heehee, she said “poop”~~

daily 7

and that’s it.

This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.–
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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