The Art of Being Present
September 29, 2009 by Stephanie
It’s very difficult to not let day to day minutia get in the way of what really and truly matters. For most of us, the only thing that really matters is family and friends.
People.
But life happens. Work happens. Deadlines happen. Distractions happen. Facebook, twitter, phonecalls, and text messages happen.
I know this, and I hate it.
I hate it that I find myself at times not listening when the kids are trying to tell me something, because I’m too busy thinking about what I “should be” doing. Stuff that in the big scheme of things just. don’t. matter.
I hate it that there are times when I’m on the phone and a good friend is sharing a long-winded story, and I continue to go through my day making beds, dusting, sweeping, or emptying the dishwasher instead of taking a break to really listen.
I hate it that when my husband shares something new! and exciting! about concrete, my brain switches off and I start making lists of things I need to get at the store instead of really trying to understand what he’s talking about.
I hate it that when I neighbor wants to chat while out on a walk, I don’t fully listen and give half-answers.
I know better than this.
I’ve taken classes in active listening. I’ve read books on listening. I like listening, and I like it when people listen to me.
But.
It’s easy to rush through your day, to cram it all in, to say “yes” to just one more thing.
But it’s always at an expense.
Always.
It’s up to you, to me, to ourselves, to prioritize.
You have a challenge today. Listen. Truly listen to those you come in contact with (even me. don’t try to fix this previous sentence to “with whom you come in contact.” You’ll sound pretentious, trust me).
Even listen the annoying lady on the corner who only talks about the weather—-don’t worry about what you are going to say. Just listen and give undivided attention. Don’t look over her head to see who you can move on to. Don’t make excuses to shuffle away to your next thing.
Listen to the kids and ooh and ah over the 1004 pieces of scrap paper they turn out an hour.
Answer the phone, sit down, and talk. Have a real conversation.
Just be there. Be in the moment, and be present.
and have a wonderful day.
related:
That’s funny. The president of my line of business recently wrote a blog post about this very thing. In fact he doesn’t carry a Blackberry. This is a president of a Fortune 50 company!
Thanks. I needed this today
Just the wake-up call I needed during this waaaay too busy week. Thank you!
So I totally agree with this post and it could not have come at a more perfect time! I have a new supervisor who is absolutely cookey (sp?!). She is very spacey and cannot stay on task at all (ADHD TO THE MAX). She knows her job and is very skilled but I have a hard time doing my weekly supervision with her (required) because she cannot stay focused! I will really try hard to LISTEN (and not think about the 12 million things she’s assigned me to do that I won’t be getting done), regardless.
Thanks!
You were right on the money with this one. I didn’t read my email yesterday so i’m a little late! I have a church dinner and bible study tonight and will be seeing lots of people. I’m going to really try to be in the moment and pay attention to everyone.
Listening is a gift. Although it often feels like my kids are *always* talking, and usually over each other, louder and louder to get my attention, when I stop doing the dishes/reading e-mail/5001 other distracting chores, what they say is usually heartbreakingly beautiful. Thank you.
Thanks. I need to be reminded of this constantly. I’m a goal-oriented, probably ADD mom of a 2-year-old and 4-month-old who had an outside-the-home job until 6 months ago, and now am lost and confused as to my daily accomplishments, and I need to just slow down and realize that my kids ARE my daily accomplishments.
I know. I do this too.
So I promise to do this today if you can take half of B.
(kidding!)
I love this. It is so true and especially for us moms. There is so much to do and we try to get it all done at the same time. Thanks for the reminder!!!
How true and thank you for the reminder!!!!!
What did you say? I wasn’t really listening…
hee hee
I have to constantly remind myself to slow down, pay attention and just be still with the people I love.