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Totally Together

The State of Our House

July 10, 2009 by  

Strange things happen when you’re pregnant. Although you know it’s completely irrational, you suddenly feel as if there has been no one, no one, in the history of the universe who has felt the way you do.  Even if you’ve been pregnant before, you realize that you weren’t really tired or sick or cranky in previous pregnancies—that was all just practice for the way you feel now.

And nobody understands. Nobody. Not even your former self when you read past journal entries chronicling past pregnancies. Oh people commiserate, and they share their own stories, but they’re wrong. It’s just not possible for anyone else who has ever walked the face of the earth to feel the way you do.

Nope. Save it. It’s not possible.

So you sit. And you wait. Because at some point you will begin to start to feel a bit better, and begin to get just a teeny tiny shred of your former energy level back. And that teeny tiny burst of energy will feel so amazingly good, that you decide you can take the kids swimming, scrub the kitchen floor on your hands and knees, and make a 4-course dinner.

But then you’ll crash. Because you overdid it. So you’ll sit some more, and wait some more for another burst.

This cycle lasts for months and months and months and you can’t even fabricate these bursts of insane energy with triple mochas or a shot of tequilla.

and that there sucks.

The kids have been great at amusing themselves these past weeks. They’re home from school for the summer, and I love having them around. I also love not having to get dressed to drop them off and pick them up from anything. They have been playing elaborate games involving cardboard boxes, bits of string, and rolls and rolls of Scotch Tape (note to self: buy stock in 3M). There are a few squabbles here and there, but mostly the days are just filled with them asking “can we?” and me answering “knock your socks off.”

We now have an invisible dog, Walter. Walter comes on errands with us. Walter sometimes accidentally gets sat upon, although he really shouldn’t be up on the couch. Walter needs afternoon naps and needs to be read stories. Walter is the perfect pet.

The only problem with Walter is his food and water, which lives outside of the kitchen entry, where it gets knocked over a few times a day. Walter’s food has been outside the kitchen entry for 16 days. 16 days may seem like a not very long time, but when you’re pregnant, things that would normally be endearing seem to become quite annoying, and all you can think while you lie on the couch scared to move so you won’t vomit all over the carpet is about the stale yogurt covered raisins which seem to just be an open invitation to an ant infestation.

Other things that bother you is that you are the only one. THE ONLY ONE who seems to notice the pile of crap in the front entry. The problem with this pile of crap i It's okay to take time off when you're pregnant s that you actually made the mess. It’s your crap. You decided to vacuum 4 1/2 days ago, but only made it half way through the house, so now the vacuum sits, still plugged in, waiting for someone to finish the job or to put it away. And the sad fact is that the person you are waiting for is you. Because you’re the only one who cares. And then there are the purged items from the playroom that need to be stored on the shelves in the garage. The shelves that live way over on the other side of the garage, which seem entirely too far away. So you try to ignore the pile of Christmas books and outgrown baby toys.

You try very. very. hard.

oh, and the empty cardboard box? That’s yours, too. You need that box to mail something back, and since you’re going to eventually mail it back, why shouldn’t it just live there for another week or so until you muster up the courage to brave the line at the post office.

There’s also the kids’ sweatshirts which you told them to put there because they can’t reach the hangers in the hall closet, and while they could hang them in their room, or on the neat jacket thingy in the garage, you were feeling nice and said not to worry about them, and to just go play. The front entry also has the pile of dvds that need to be returned to the library, because you decided to cancel the cable for the summer so the kids don’t rot their brains, and have somehow justified that cartoon DVDs from the library are a whole lot better.

The past few days the song from Veggie Tales, “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything,” has been playing in an endless loop in my head. I drift off to a nap, and imagine someone walking in our house, seeing the disaray, and me asleep on the couch. When questioned “what’s going on here?” The kids shrug and answer, “oh, that’s just our mom. She don’t do anything.”

14 weeks. Beginning to feel human again.

Post a comment · 23 Comments »


23 Responses to “The State of Our House”

  1. Birgitte Sciarretta on July 11th, 2009 12:46 am

    So recognize that mood. Hang in there!

  2. Nowheymama on July 11th, 2009 4:01 am

    Our house has piles like that whether I’m pregnant or not. Which is why I’m here. 😉

  3. Melinda on July 11th, 2009 8:50 am

    I laughed SO HARD at this post! I’m 8 weeks and our house looks and I feel pretty much the same way. I have stuff to be put in the attic (instead of the garage) and a vac sitting out but still plugged in too! I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one.

  4. Jen on July 11th, 2009 9:37 am

    LOL NWM! I’m with ya!

    (((Stephanie))) Poor bunny. Not going to commiserate, just sending happy thoughts your way and wishes that you are feeling human soon.

  5. Christy on July 11th, 2009 5:05 pm

    My house is like that whether pregnant or not too. Hope you feel better soon.

  6. clare on July 11th, 2009 9:41 pm

    I have had seven children in 10 years of marriage, no twins ) yes, I have my hands full, and I love your blogs for it =D)…I adore my life, and my husband, but the pregnancies were always harder than the labor for the EXACT mood you describe above. My hubby was good enough to try to get me to laugh at myself when I would cry…but then i would bite his head off for buttering the toast wrong…because he couldnt possibly REALLY understand …even if he was ( occasionally) right =D Hang in there, lol!!!

  7. Connie on July 12th, 2009 3:58 am

    I agree with everyone else, not been pregnant and not planning on it but MAN do I have days, months and YEARS like this :) Just wait, this too will end and then you’re not going to have any time anyways cause a new baby is very demanding, so just see the humor in the whole thing and do not worry about it!!!! :) If someone walks in and asks ” what’s this? ” Then it’s NOT a woman!!!!! :) :)
    We know we try to be Super-everything but sometimes ( for a long time even ) it just doesn’t work out, no problem, it’s frustrating and it’s miserable and hard, but it too will end just try to see the humor in it all. Take care, big hugs!

  8. jennibell on July 12th, 2009 9:15 am

    Thanks for keeping it real for us!!!

  9. Connors Mom on July 12th, 2009 7:56 pm

    I am laughing and laughing. I had a imaginary dog named Walter in the 70’s. Maybe they are related? I have big huge piles everywhere. Once one thing is there it becomes a magnet for other orphan items. Grrrr. I like your blog alot, thanks for reminding me of the silent side of pregnancy. Even if you are having a tough time, maybe you would like to know that I feel better?! It is good to know someone else has their vacuum out too. Good Luck, get some rest.

  10. Leigh Ann on July 13th, 2009 9:22 am

    Oh girl. We would SO be friends.

  11. MollyandRin'smom on July 13th, 2009 9:58 am

    I have the vacuum also, but in our house it is called the ornamental vacuum, to go along with the ornamental ladder that stood against the wall for 5 months just waiting for my husband to hang a picture for me.

    I totally agree with the orphan pile. Have several going now. Stuff that needs to be taken to the stoage room in the basement but everyone is too lazy to grab it as they walk down the stairs (mind you, WALKING over stuff on the stairs) to go watch tv. URGGG!

    Hope you feel better soon, it will pass! Love reading your blogs, there is always a way to make me realize that I am not alone in my predicaments and that someone, somewhere is going thru the exact same thing as me.

  12. Elizabeth on July 13th, 2009 7:33 pm

    Hang in there and try to take comfort in the fact that while you are miserable, your stories make us all laugh…we laugh WITH you, not at you :)

  13. Jen T. on July 14th, 2009 11:28 am

    So my life…and my house…only I’m not preggers! What does that mean?

  14. Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah on July 15th, 2009 7:24 am

    I act like that and I’m not pregnant.

    Thankfully the second trimester is better.

  15. Mo on July 15th, 2009 2:49 pm

    “oh, I’ve never swabbed a poop deck and I’ve never raised a mainsail…and I’ve never been to Boston in the Faaaaaaall!!”

  16. Michelle on July 15th, 2009 4:08 pm

    So which Pirate somg was it? Rock Monster? Yo Ho Hero? That one gets in my head very easily. :)

  17. Jenn on July 15th, 2009 11:30 pm

    Just for you….

    We are the Pirates who don’t do anything, we just stay at home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we’ll just tell you… “We don’t do anything.”

    It won’t last forever, so just enjoy it.


  18. gfe--gluten free easily on July 16th, 2009 6:57 am

    So very funny, Stephanie. I hope you felt a little bit better after writing that … well, after you took the long nap that was required after writing that. 😉 Even though I am not the same as you, I do remember similar days.


  19. Sharon on July 19th, 2009 7:33 pm

    First – congratulations on your pregnancy!

    Second – I have one child, and pregnancy was enough to make me say “never again!” I hope the next two trimesters go well for you.

    Take care of yourself. And ignore the housework. It’ll wait. Unless your husband or kids notice and… Oh, never mind. It’ll wait.

  20. Christine on August 25th, 2009 2:58 pm

    Wow! Are you kidding me? I think maybe I could have written this post. I am now 11 wks preggers and got some kind of stomach bug yesterday. So today I have been just lying around being the mom who don’t do anything– I have 3 (#4 is on his/her way). It’s just so nice to know that although you may not feel exactly the same way I do, there are other women who don’t do anything.

  21. SheBear on October 4th, 2009 10:24 pm

    Oh, Steph! I just found your blog…didn’t realize you had this one, and I had lost the link to your crockpot one in our computer crash a few months ago! So, one of our mutual buddies filled me in! :) I was searching for you because I also lost my preview/prerelease copy of Totally Together, and I NEEEEEEEEED it! LOL! I’m bummed to see that it’s no longer in the works for publication, because I have been using it at least as regularly as my bible (which may not actually be saying too much for either one, but…moving right along!) 😉

    But I’m thrilled to find that you have a TT blog! Woo-hoo! It just may be enough to get me back on track…..particularly because…..surprise, surprise……I’m expecting again, too! 😀

    I’m so excited to see you are expecting again–what a surprise! Looks like you are just a few weeks ahead of me…I’m approximately 19 weeks right now, due early March, and if my brain is working (doubtful) this puts you due sometime in Jan?

    Anyway, I’m so thrilled to find you–I’ve missed you and all the gang so much! And so thrilled to be pregnant together again!

    And……about the TT Planner….my vote is, you make it available for a fee via PDF download! 😀 I suspect I’m not the only one who’d be thrilled to part with some cold hard cash in exchange for you teaching me to make my house behave!

    Love you, and sending you SOOOO many blessings across the miles….for your pregnancy, for your cookbook (OMG! Wow!! I’m so proud of you, and adding it to my wish list on Amazon!), and for….gosh, just everything!

    Much love,


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